That’s the story of my life. When I am traveling, I prefer to be silent, to be quiet and to be calm enough to observe what is happening around me. In fact my travel days are one of those rare days where I let the other person speak and I listen, I listen intently. I am intrigued by new cultures, new destinations and new stories! Of course, once I am back I won’t rest until I have recounted each and every experience to my often reluctant audience. But how did I ever discover I liked all these?

In the very beginning, like everyone else, I used to look for company to travel. There wasn’t a travel plan which didn’t include a whole a lot of begging/convincing a friend(s) to come along. My travel plans revolved around others’ availability and others’ plans. When I met more people who were interested in travel, it didn’t take long before I made friends with them and went on several trips together. The trips were full of laughter, poking fun at each other and a whole lot of talking because all of us were new to each other and we there because of our common love of travel. What these trips were not was enriching. In the sense that while meeting new people was fun I didn’t learn anything about the place that we were visiting because we were so busy with each other. We were confined in this familiar protective bubble with little chance of interaction with the others. Conversations bounced between the closed contexts of our group, there was little that felt alien.

On some unsuspecting trip, clichéd as it may seem, I happened to discover the joy of discovery. I started traveling with few and actively avoided all such trips that included a huge group. After all, all that joking and talking and laughing got in the way of me experiencing the place. When I look back at such trips, neither do I remember the conversations nor do I remember the place. At this point I must be coming off as an increasingly anti-social person. I will be lying if I say I have nothing against such vacations, well, I hate them. Please don’t judge me. But what I do love is to travel in a way where me or my friends are not taking over a place, where I am not intruding. I want to be able to blend in, observe, learn and not seem intimidating.

To tell you the truth, I didn’t take to solo travel for a really long time. My first solo trip was only in 2011 to Sikkim. I have gone alone to join groups where I didn’t know anyone before but never traveled all alone until that point. And I traveled solo because I didn’t find anyone to come along and also because I didn’t want to wait for someone to come along. That was a small 5 day trip in the foothills of Himalayas and that one trip changed my life and how! Since then I have daringly set out travel to the remote islands of Andaman and to stay with the headhunting tribes of Nagaland alone and had some pretty remarkable experiences – both terrifying and breathtaking.

In India, especially, we are not accustomed to the idea of doing things alone. Be it, going to the movies or going shopping or god forbid, eat alone! Here, doing things alone will only attract pitiful glances and sympathetic enquiries. I have been asked several times if I didn’t have a family. If I did, how they allowed me to travel alone was invariably the next question. Always. The good thing about traveling alone in India is that everybody wants to know your story. They come to you, they are curious and let you immerse in their world. I have had some really long and interesting conversations with the locals wherever I traveled alone or with just a friend. The bad thing about traveling alone is that everybody wants to know your story. As a woman traveling alone, I do attract a lot of attention. Sometimes I just want to be left alone but that doesn’t always work in my favor.

Half the times, I am at my wit’s end with all the things going wrong around me, like the snakeskin in my room or landslides or falling sick or the lack of public transport or landing in a remote village where the hotel’s locked down and there’s no power for 2 days. Half the times I am also scared to death. But the confidence that comes from the knowledge that I survived all these and lived to tell the story leaves me in a far better state than I earlier was in. We all know that magic happens outside of our comfort zone. I am now willing to take on challenges and enjoy the freedom that I am given. By trusting myself and being forced to trust strangers, I now know that I can work my way around chaotic situations and that people elsewhere in general are quite nice and friendly. I have taken some stupid decisions too but I’ve learnt my lessons. 

Solo travel opens a whole new world that has been shielded by none other than our own presumptions.  In the process I also do have better and insightful travel experiences. There are loads of posts on the internet advocating solo travel, but I decided to share these thoughts anyway because to hear something from someone you know or relate to can make a bigger difference. I know that once a friend hiked all alone thinking “If Neelima can go solo, I can too” and I know I drew strength from my other friend who hiked alone.

I do not want to paint a rosy picture of solo travel though. It is not going to be easy but is the reward going to be worth the effort? Yes! Words like safety, loneliness etc get thrown around generously whenever solo travel talk comes up, we’ll discuss that in a later post. Solo travel is difficult only to begin with but it is an incredibly enriching experience. I won’t say take a huge leap of faith and take that month long overseas trip just yet, but try. Time is too precious to spend it waiting for something to happen or for someone to come along. Pick up your bag and go. Don’t pin all your hopes on waiting for the perfect time or finding that perfect travel partner to begin your journey. In fact everyone should take a solo trip - to discover courage, confidence, freedom and to grow as a person!

Today it feels amazing to say “Yes, I am going alone!” I can and I will.

What are your thoughts on solo travel in India?

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2012 Women's Day post - My Little Secret (on How to get started with Travel)

**UPDATE**
Answered few more new questions. Check them out in the new section

So turns out in the last post I missed out few questions because of some goof up in email forwarding. Here are the answers to more questions. 

For the uninitiated, few weeks ago I asked my readers to Ask me Anything and I would answer.

**NEW Questions**

Vamsi Krishna asks
Why don't you share your photos?
Well, this is one question many have asked me and many have been wondering for a long time too. In the beginning I didn't think my photos were good enough to be shared. Then I figured they were fine but trip after trip was keeping me busy enough not to find time for processing the pictures at all. And this continues to happen till date. I find little time to work on pictures and so it takes forever for me to publish them. But to be honest, at the back of my mind I also feel like my best work should only be seen when published elsewhere. I also understand that art of any kind flourishes when allowed to be seen freely, which is what I try to do these days. Publish few, but good photos. I am not there yet, but I am trying to get there! I do have a photography website where I upload my work regularly, but for some reason I haven't been able to get myself to share it. But I think about time, you can follow my latest work here - neelimav.photoshelter.com

I do not come from a school of thought where I think all the images from a trip should be released. I like to showcase only the best from a collection even if that means very few, but I will make sure these are the very best ones. So you can never expect an entire picasa or flickr album from me! :)

Adarsh J Raju asks
How are you managing these leaves so often!
Most of it is explained here - How in the hell do I manage to get so many leaves?
But beyond that I can only say sometimes I do tend to get lucky! For instance the latest Nagaland trip happened because Monday and Tuesday were public holidays and Wednesday and Thursday were optional. I saved up these optional leaves since the beginning of the year and took all four at once in November for Diwali, Balipadyami and Moharram all together giving me 6 days of leave in a row. Come to think of it, it all comes to down to planning in the end and maybe a little luck! ;)

Thennarasu asks

When do get to see your travel videos like the ones in your previous post - 7 Travel Videos : Inspiration From Around The World?
While I am big fan of such awesome travel videos, I have to admit I am not any good at it at the moment. And it is going to take considerable effort from my side to come up with something like that. Given the fact that I am currently occupied with traveling, blogging, photography and writing, I do not think I should take on any new interests right now. I am barely managing to keep up with these things. So the answer is, not in the near future, the thought stays though.

Vinay asks
How much of editing goes into your photos and what tools do you use?
I am a strong advocate of editing and processing pictures to get the best out of the images. I predominantly work with adjustments in Shadows/Highlights and and I am a big fan of burning and dodging. Also I do like colors to pop considering I shoot landscapes the most. So I have changed the contrast/sharpness/saturation settings drastically in my camera to produce high contrast high saturation images straight out of the camera.

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Vijay Kulkarni asks 

How do you manage the work and photography ? Right now I work for xyz(name changed) and don't find time to go around.

Here's how - How in the hell do I manage to get so many leaves?

Beyond this, I can only say if you really want to do something, you will find a way, else you will find an excuse. For instance leaving for a trek on a Friday night and coming back to office on Monday leaves one with no spare time but that is a price most weekend travelers are willing to pay in exchange for some brilliant travel moments. You have to work with what you have got!

Do you plan to arrange a basic photography session in Bangalore ?

At this point, no. If I ever do that, I will announce it here.

Where should I start with photography ? Any recommendations ?

I would say Digital Photography School is a good place to start with. The older articles are especially good to gain an understanding of the technical aspects of photography. I would also suggest looking through images on flickr/500px to gain an understanding of different kinds of photography. In this process you might also realize which genre interests you, such as Landscapes or Night Photography or Macro or Portraits. Then practice and more practice. 

Can I join with you for travel photography sessions ?

I do not conduct any travel photography sessions. Photography is just part of my travels at this point. Like I said, if anything, I would announce here.

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Jinu John asks 

Let's say there is some place which is on top of your wishlist, a place that you have been trying really hard to go to. Finally you do get a chance to visit that place but exactly at the same time some other important engagement comes up such as a friend's/relative's marriage or project delivery. What will you do - stay back or go ahead? 

Hmm, so far I have always chosen travel. :) 

My definition of important engagement and the generally accepted definition doesn't really match. But if I am really needed I will stay back. 

I leave for another trip next week and a very good friend of mine is getting married at the same time which I am missing. So maybe that answers the question.

Girish N asks

What filters does your photography kit usually carry?

Two Cokin Graduated Neutral Density Filter

77mm Hoya Circular Polarizer

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Abhishek Kurasala asks 

What camera and lens do you use ?

Canon EOS 500D and Tokina 11-16mm.

With this, I hope I have answered all the questions that were sent to me. 

Let me know if you liked the Ask me Anything posts. :)

Few days ago I posted here that you could Ask me Anything and I'll answer. As promised here are your answers. Thank you all for participating! :)

Renuka asks “I want to know about your most challenging travel experience in terms of photography.”

I have to say photographing in the outdoors during monsoons was the second toughest, first being taking portraits of strangers, which is why I started The 100 Strangers Project. Coming back to the monsoons, with the incessant rain, cloudy overcast weather, patchy light conditions, setting up the tripod in the rain, trying to protect the camera from getting wet, dealing with the water droplets on the lens, adjusting the graduated ND filter with one hand and holding the umbrella in the other, I had the toughest times in Sikkim. But thankfully all the effort paid off and I learned the camera can take much abuse! ;)

After that trip, I took the decision to photograph in the rains no matter what, because monsoons bring out the best in the nature. Looking at Sikkim and Madikeri pictures, I think I am getting the hang of it.

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Vignesh Krish asks 

Is there any place that you wished you had NOT visited?

Yes, I wished I hadn’t visited Manali in 2008. I had nothing against the place, except that after a bone breaking epic 20hr journey from Leh to Manali, the hawkers who surrounded our vehicle as soon as we reached Manali, refused to leave until we took a room and fought around us was a stark contrast from the peaceful times in Ladakh and that irritated me a lot. Over the next few visits I quite enjoyed Manali though.

Have you encountered any dangers, during your travel? If so, how did you overcome it?

All the dangers that I have managed to survive are now referred to as adventures. ;)

Jokes apart, the one time that a group of us encountered a lone wild elephant while trekking in Western Ghats freaked me out completely. Even cats and dogs scare me, so you can imagine my plight. There wasn’t much that we could do. The elephant was on the hill below us and we had to get down, we stood there looking at each other and wondering what to do. After a while we realized we have to get down somehow, so we walked straight and got down the hill further ahead, away from the elephant. But all the time my heart was racing like a maniac and it didn’t calm down until we reached the village nearby. Only to have another heart attack when the villagers told us quite recently an elephant had turned rogue and was found wandering alone in the ghats!

Ever been to a jungle safari? Or do you have one such plan in your wish book?

Yes, I have been on few safaris in Corbett National Park but I am not a big fan of safaris. I prefer a more intimate way of exploring the place on foot if possible.

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Vipin asks

I know some people travelling full time (after resigning their job). Do you plan to do that sometime in future?

I would love to do that but maybe not immediately.

Which was the most hardcore trek you have ever done?

The first step is the hardest, they say. My first tough trek was the toughest. To trek without a trail, getting lost in the forest known to have gotten people killed, walking in the night in a place full of vipers, crossing waist deep streams after dark, camping in the middle of the forest with nothing but a tarpaulin over my head kept me in a constant state of fear for the two days. But after that experience I learned forests were not as scary as I had imagined. I went on many difficult treks that tested me in many ways but I think that first step in realizing these things can be done and getting past that mental block was the hardest. So I consider my trek to Ombattu Gudda in my early days of trekking as the hardest trek I did.

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Sandeep, Anusha and Pavithra ask “Can I join you on your travels?”

It is practically not possible for me to take people with me on treks, because I don’t organize treks or trips. I do not have a group either. What I do have is a lot of friends and connections through the adventure clubs listed above. I suggest go on treks with these clubs, you will meet enough like minded people. That’s how I got started.

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Anonymous asks

How do you remain safe travelling alone as a woman? I'd love to go all over India and any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Hmm, I do not have a specific answer but in general I’d suggest not to think in terms of what is safe for a woman, just think what is safe and what is not. Keep in touch with someone back home and listen to your gut feeling, most probably your instincts are right. Get out of any situation that worries you and remember that people in general are friendly. I suggest using public transport for both financial and safety reasons. Begin with solo-travel-friendly destinations such as Ladakh or Spiti or Rajasthan and get familiar with the idea of traveling alone. Do your homework before leaving for the destination, coming across as a woman who knows the place already will reduce the risks of being conned. You can also consider joining a group or an organized trip. As you gain more experience and get comfortable traveling alone, you will trust in your capabilities that much more. The internet is full of advice but I believe you can be your best teacher in this case.

What's your favourite place in India so far?

If you would’ve asked me this question 2 years ago, I would have answered Himalayas in the split of a second. But after traveling to all corners of our country I can’t answer this question with one place. I loved all the places that were serene, pristine and beautiful. On second thoughts, I think I would still say Himalayas. :)

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Manu Ponnappa asks

How do you prepare your itinerary when you decide a location? I mean when you finalize a place, how do you find unexplored places over there. I know you use Google (Read in your blog), but how exactly do you search for such places?

I do a lot of reading before I go on any trip. More than mainstream travel articles, local blogs contain information about off beat places. Googling helps in this matter. I don’t click on the well known web addresses. Instead I click on the .blogspot or .wordpress search results. I believe there is one google blog search too. I only book my flight tickets and keep the rest of the itinerary flexible. Once you reach a place, locals can help you plan your itinerary. Ask them, talk to them, they are the best guides around. Like in Rajasthan, I wanted to see ruins of havelis. So I told my guide exactly and specifically what I wanted to see and I also told him I don’t mind going away from the touristy destinations. Knowledgeable that he was, he directed me to some spectacular ruins where very few had gone before. Sometimes not finding any information online about some place suggests that it is offbeat. You may take a chance and find out yourself if it is worth visiting or not. For instance there wasn’t much information available about Little Andaman, so by default very few visit that place. I took a chance and landed there a few weeks ago and it was one of the best places I’ve been to.

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Senthil asks me about my camera gear.

Currently I shoot with a Canon EOS 500D and a Tokina 11-16mm Wide Angle Lens.

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Santhosh Krishnan asks

Is there any place which you are dying to visit in India? If any, what is the reason?

I really want to spend a winter in Spiti. The ease of access and the spectacular beauty of this Himalayan kingdom make Spiti an easy favorite. I have also heard from the locals that Mudh, the last village in Pin Valley National Park is cut off from the rest of the world during winters. The only way out is by walking on the frozen river for 40kms. I want to see how they survive the harsh winters.

Which is your favourite Western Ghats destination and why? (I know whole WG is beautiful, is there any particular fav place?)

As you said, the entire stretch of Western Ghats is enchanting. However, if I have to pick one, I’d say Kodachadri or Narasimha Parvatha, for the sole reason that these places showed me clouds beneath my feet!

Please add more details in your blog as to how to reach, where to stay and other travel tips. It would be helpful for us to plan trips along with some eco - friendly tips and suggestions.

Yes, I want to do this but it has been crazy of late and I am not able to write as much as I would’ve wanted to. I will try to add more help sections, guides and my two cents on eco friendly travel.

First to give a short update, I just came back from an amazing trip to Andaman and I have lots of stories to tell and lots of photos to show. But have been really busy at work so that'll have to wait a bit. On another note, 5 of my images have been published in National Geographic Traveller October Issue. To be associated with NatGeo in any small way has always been the dream and I hope to take it forward more in the coming months.

That said, I have been seeing a lot of bloggers doing Ask me Anything posts, so I thought you might have some questions for me too? Ask me about my travels or photography or solo travel or adventures or whatever you want to know. I promise to answer all appropriate questions.

You can send me your questions in the following ways -

Life teaches us lessons in many ways. But we choose to understand only when it is told in a way we like. Years of education and years of corporate life didn’t teach me what travel taught me in few years. Here’s what I learned.

It is okay to take risks. In fact it is a good thing to take risks. There can be only two outcomes. If it goes well you will have an amazing experience and if it doesn’t you’ll have a good learning to take back with you.  Everyone warned me against going to Sikkim in monsoons but I did anyway. That was probably one of the best trips of my life till date. It is okay to take risks. It pays off well half the time!

The thing about travel is it forces you out of your comfort zone. Travel makes you do things you never thought you could do. It shows you the strength you never thought you had. I never thought I could travel solo, until I did. So next time I find myself wondering if I can do something new, I’ll just go ahead and try it.

Again back to Sikkim, looks like that one trip taught me lots! Despite the bad weather we proceeded towards Gurudongmar Lake after many days of wait. The day looked no better. The roads were totally deserted and it rained all the time. But we went ahead anyway. Just as we reached the lake, the sky cleared, the sun shined and the lake dazzled. The army guys posted there said it hasn’t been sunny in days. Looks like lady luck smiles on those who dare. Oh wait, I think it is who dares wins! :)

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness” is what a very wise person said. I thought so many places were boring before I visited them. But every such place only managed to surprise me and change my opinion. What was I thinking anyway in forming ideas without knowing anything about those places? Having an open mind can not only make travel better but also it can make our lives easier and better. Appearances can be deceptive, next time I will try not to judge a book by its cover.

A smile can take you a long way. If you are traveling most of the time, being grumpy is not an option. Smile is the universal language, everyone can understand it and the best thing is, it is totally free! Next time around, smile at that lady in the store or that bus conductor. I promise you will feel good.

We have seen countless movies and million matches where the game turns around in the very last moment. That is the secret of success, never giving up, until the very end. In Sikkim, last year, most of the roads reported landslides. Our driver was happy to know that because he thought he could take us back to Gangtok and take leave. But we refused. We wanted to go see it ourselves. He and his friends mocked us for our ignorance. But once we reached the landslide area, the army had just opened the road. It was cleared. “In your face losers!” is what we thought.

Before I used to travel, I had the patience to last about a second. Every second I had to wait for the bus irritated me and anger was a constant companion. Then I started waiting at the airports to catch the flight. Today if I have to wait, I wouldn’t mind, I will write a post meanwhile or maybe just catch a nap but I certainly won’t go crazy like I used to earlier.

Because I am oh-so-patient now, I don’t mind waiting. Oh wait, I told you that already. So now-a-days I am in no hurry to rush somewhere. I take my time, like that weekend where few of us patiently waited for the sunset. We didn’t know something good would come, but we waited. And just as expected, a brilliant scene was unfolding in front of us. The rest, who left, missed the clouds, not us, because we waited.

After years, if you sit down and correlate all the events, in most cases it turns out everything that happened, happened for the best. I certainly don’t mean resign to your fate and do nothing. But when despite your best efforts things go wrong, wait it out, something good will come out of it. When I fell sick and had to miss the Stok Kangri Trek, I went to an unlikely destination. That was super fun and today I get my chance again to summit the missed mountain. Now that worked out well, didn’t it?

Truer words have not been spoken. We all are social beings after all. I come back and share my stories with you, with my friends, with my family. We have to share, share our love, experiences, knowledge, curiosities and happiness. Only then it makes our life worthwhile.

It is quite easy to take everything for granted without appreciating its value. When we travel, we see how fortunate we have been to have what we have. There are many people who don’t have access to half the conveniences we enjoy.

When you live out of a backpack for a month you’ll understand how less we actually need to live. And when you come back and try to clean your room, you’ll understand how much of rubbish we have accumulated under the illusion that we need so many things to live.

Being silly is the best way to have fun, seriously! When my friend said she wants to stand on the standing camel, we all had incredulous looks on our faces, both my friends and the camel owner. But she did stand on the 8 foot animal and then she fell down from that height too. Later I stood on it as well. It was so much fun!

You can’t plan your life. Heck, you can’t even plan a two week trip and expect everything to happen accordingly, let alone a plan that will stand good for a 100 years. Change is constant, embrace it. Without that surprise at the corner of the road, life will be quite drab, don’t you think?

There are so many times during travel when we feel scared. “Why didn’t I stay back at the hotel tonight?” “Why didn’t I choose a safer destination?” “Why didn’t I inform someone I am coming here?” “Why am I here instead of the comforts of my home?” But every mistake you do is a lesson learned. Every bad situation you got out of only made you stronger and wiser. But please, just don’t repeat the same mistake again! ;)

Because it is women’s day, I thought I’d let you in on my little secret! My little secret is about how to get started with travel. I get a lot of mails asking if I could take them on any trip along with me.  I get equal number of mails saying how they want to do what I do, travel like I do. The point of this post is not to brag, but to tell you how, read on.

Let’s take a trip down the memory lane, let’s go back to 2008. I had just come back from Ladakh and I was crazily obsessed with the idea of travel and adventure only with no means or resources to do so. I knew I wanted to travel and explore but I just didn’t know how. A turmoil, rather the size of a cyclone in my mind was keeping me restless, how I do I go to Himalayas, how do I camp in the wilderness, how do I be safe, when do I, how can I, what should I and so many more questions were killing me.  So how did I overcome these problems?

To tell you the truth, there’s no secret. Would it surprise you if I said, it was by trial and error? First I pestered my friends to come along. They couldn’t keep up or rather didn’t want to keep up with my voracious appetite for travel. Then I considered going for a trek with some adventure group but I didn’t know how safe it would be for a girl to go trek in the forest with strangers but I took the risk and it paid off well. Today I have so many wonderful friends who trek along with me. Then I decided to go however possible and it just so happened that I found company and when I didn’t, I went ahead anyway. 

Even after going to Ladakh and going for few treks in Western Ghats I still wasn’t sure I’d be able to go to Himalayas anytime soon. But when the Roopkund trek was announced, I registered. Believe me, it was such a big deal and there were butterflies in my stomach whenever I thought of the fact that I actually signed up for a trek in the mighty Himalayas and that too a high altitude one at that. But all that anticipation turned into admiration when I reached Himalayas, I had reached home after all. Before I took that step, it was a big deal to go to the Himalayas and once I took the first step, I wondered, what was the big deal at all?

Don’t tell me you weren’t scared to come to an unknown city and earn you living. Don’t tell me you weren’t scared by the thought that your family isn’t close by to take care of you. But you did survive alone in the big city, didn’t you?  When it comes to a crunch, we all find a way around the problem. Just go ahead and take that trip you’ve always dreamed of. Age is not an issue, money is not an issue, time is not an issue and above all, gender is not an issue. If we truly want to, we will find a way. If you don't believe me, see what Deepa Mallik did despite being paralyzed waist below..

There is a reason why we can’t understand what the other person means when he gives us a good piece of advice. His knowledge comes from his experience and until we experience it ourselves, we’ll never understand what he meant in first place. It is quite easy to assume that since we are traveling so much, we can guide you on the path to eternal wandering. But that is so not true! Frankly, I do not know the answer.  I cannot tell you how to travel. You have to find your answer. You will face problems and you will overcome them in your own way, it is not necessary that the same solution will work for both of us. It is not necessary that we will both face the same problem to begin with. But you already have crossed half the hurdle by making up your mind that you want to travel. Crossing the other half just requires you to take that first step. If you will never take that step, you will never know what could’ve been.

P.S – It’s nice to say all this but it doesn’t mean I am suggesting you throw caution to wind and set out.  Travel, but be safe. :)

Here’s few places where you can start.

Bangalore Ascenders – I go for treks around Western Ghats with them, good bunch of people.

Indiahikes – I go for Himalayan treks with them, good locations and good crowd.

Youth Hostels Association of India – I go with them for some interesting events like cycling, trekking across desert. Comfortable arrangements. A little old school but definitely worth the experience.

Chennai Trekking Club – Used to go with them for a lot of adventurous treks in South earlier. Not sure of the present condition and crowd.

Bangalore Bikers Club – I have never been with them but they do have a lot of events and crowd for folks interested in cycling

A heavy dose of inspiration to explore the unknown – BCMTouring

A Wikipedia of travel and trek information and travelers - Indiamike